As a die-hard fan of The Hills, and Lauren more so, that episode has always stuck in my head as a classic. How could two people who were once inseparable reach a point where their feud quickly became one of televisions most talked about fallouts? I remember hoping and praying that Heidi and Lauren could reconcile whilst watching this because behind the fake nails, Barbie hair extensions and 120 plastic surgery procedures I genuinely liked Heidi!! I, along with 100% of The Hills fanatics who took part in a survey* think that her relationship with Spencer messed her head up and ruined her whole life. Basically.
*one person (ME) was asked the question 'Did Spencer ruin Heidi's life?'
The purpose of this post isn't to go on about how much I hate Spencer and his skin coloured pedophile beard, but a recent conversation with an old friend got me thinking about the concept of forgiveness in it's entirety. Our deep Skype call went from rating Beyonce's new album on a scale of 1 to 10 (I said 8, she said 7.5 and is therefore CLEARLY WRONG), to talking about a grudge she still held against a mutual friend over some stuff that went down 5 YEARS AGO. Without going into details, the argument did not involve a sex tape rumour- the severity of the situation is subjective as always but in my opinion, which I made very clear, this all should have been forgotten about just as quickly as it started.
One thing I've learnt about myself lately is that I am 'sort of kind of alright' with the whole forgiveness thing. Depending on the situation I can probably get over it quite swiftly... Having said that, there are times when I feel that certain people don't really deserve forgiveness, especially when they show little to no remorse for their actions. Speaking as a Christian I realise that is totally wrong and hypocritical and terrible and just WRONG of me but I honestly can't help it sometimes. I consider myself to be a generally nice person until you screw me over. Unfortunately some 'friends' often abuse their screwing over superpowers to the nth degree which begs the question:
When is it ok NOT to forgive?
Again, my Pentecostal head says never. The ability to forgive is one that not everybody has, but we all need. The stubborn 9 year old inside me would try and find a way around this. Why should you forgive somebody that hurts you? And I don't mean hurt in the 'I sit next to her in Maths and she didn't even invite me to her birthday party at Wacky Warehouse' way. Serious 'OMG I can't believe she took my favourite shoes without asking, although she might have asked but I just wasn't listening' hurt.
JK JK JK, but in Lauren Conrad's situation I thought her decision to end her friendship with Heidi was perfectly reasonable. Sometimes it's the people you think you can trust with your life who will be the ones to hurt you the most. If Heidi was just some random girl that knew nothing about everything then it would have been a non-issue. But this was her best friend, someone she trusted and loved and cared about. Which is where the problem lies- she cared. This is the one and only area in which I can relate to Lauren. I do care too much about people, especially my friends, and the naive side of me just assumes that the same feelings will always be reciprocated. I am the kind of person who would happily put my own feelings aside to help people I care about. Unfortunately I seem to care about almost everyone I come across, mostly because I just really like people. It may be hard to believe but I really mean that! It's worked well sometimes, and not so well other times. Do I forgive people who take advantage? For the most part, yes. Everyone slips up sometimes. But there's always something in the back of my mind that tells me not to get too close "because remember the last time so and so took liberties?!!?!?!?"
Here is where I get confused- does the fact that I remain cynical mean I haven't truly forgiven, or is it just that certain things happen that you can't allow yourself to forget about unless you want to get screwed over AGAIN.
I'll leave you with that. All this thinking/typing is hurting my head, so I'm gonna watch Basketball Wives and kill about 5 million brain cells in the process...
No comments:
Post a Comment